Calm Parenting University Workshop Session 3 Recap

Are you beginning to notice a new atmosphere in your home? Are you starting to experience a new hope for your home? I continue to pray that God will use these concrete practical strategies to help you on your journey to become the parents God has created us to be so that we can raise the twenty-three year old, healthy, well-adjusted adults God has created our children to be.

CPU Workshop Session 3 Recap

Key Idea:

When was the last time you physically showed your children HOW to handle their anger, frustration and disappointment? Emotional meltdowns and defiance are tremendous opportunities to teach our children the lifelong skill of self-control while building a closer relationship.

10 Strategies to Stop Defiance, Disrespect, and Meltdowns:

  1. Do not provoke. How do we provoke our kids?
  2. Do not react. Ever.
  3. Practice acknowledgement to defuse situations.
  4. Do not misjudge your kids’ motives.
  5. Get to the root of the issue.
  6. Put it back in your child’s court. Give them ownership.
  7. Teach your kids how to disagree respectfully.
  8. Demonstrate self-respect when your kids are outwardly defiant or ignore you.
  9. Match your kids’ intensity with problem solving.
  10. Turn meltdowns into an opportunity.

Key Scriptures:

  1. Proverbs 15:1
  2. Colossians 3:21
  3. Proverbs 15:8

Actions Steps:

  1. Reach out to one other parent this week. Share a listening ear and encouragement.
  2. Practice the power of acknowledgement this week.
  3. Develop a new calming routine as a family.

May God bless you richly this week as you move forward to becoming more of what God created you to be so your kids can become more of what God created them to be.

Resolve

A new year is upon us. Again. And again, many of us may be thinking about change. Perhaps breaking a bad habit or forging a good one. You may be looking to discover the healthier “me,” becoming the best version of yourself that God made you to become. Often our goals are about spending more time with family or less time at work. Others commit to kicking a tobacco habit or to stop using credit cards. Some even write down goals about spending more time in the Word of God. I am confident that you can achieve the good and godly goals that the Spirit lays on your heart and that you set yourself to.

I know that I would like to eat a healthier diet, exercise more regularly, lose weight, and once again fit in my “someday” jeans. Do you have a pair? Or maybe there is something else that you hang to, hoping that someday you may achieve some nebulous goal, but never really making any long term commitments… The truth is that many of us, most in fact, make “resolutions” every new year. We write down goals to eat healthier, to lose weight, to exercise more, to be better husbands or mothers. In reality,  most of us set lofty and admirable goals every January, and the great majority of us fail before Groundhog’s Day.

Why is that? Three reasons initially come to my mind. The first reason we fail to reach our new goals is a matter of priorities. When a goal is so unimportant that we are willing to wait until a turn of the calendar to begin pursuing it, often waiting months, it is not a priority for us. What is a priority is our complacent conquest of comfortable normalcy.

The second reason we fail to reach our goals is a function of habit. New habits take 90 days to become entrenched into our behavior. This has two implications: First is that you may have already inadvertently formed a bad habit of delay and procrastination by waiting 90 days or more to begin. Yes, delaying the pursuit of your goals is as much a habit as the daily pursuit of them. Even making excuses for failure becomes a habit. Second, you really need to stand firm in the pursuit of your goals for 3 months before they become an engrained habit. Cling to your goal through March, with a daily reminder of what you are striving for and why.

The third is one of resolve. In Daniel chapter 1, the great man of God was a mere young man taken captive by the conquering Babylon. Rather than giving in to the pagan and evil practices that his captors were trying to force upon Daniel and all the captives, Daniel resolved or “purposed in his heart” to seek God. As a result, every dilemma of conscience Daniel faced was easily decided by considering his resolve. God also poured favor upon Daniel as a response to Daniel’s resolve toward God. In the New Testament, Paul often writes about this purpose of heart, using phrases like: stand firm in your faith, putting on the whole armor of God; straining toward the prize heavenward in Christ Jesus; and fight to lay hold of the eternal life.

I pray that as you examine your goals for this new year of your life that you would not delay, that you would resolve in your heart to reach your God given goals. Stand firm, strain daily, and fight to overcome our complacent conquest of comfortable normalcy.

As for me, I am seeking a healthier me: physically, emotionally, intellectually, socially, and spiritually. But most importantly, I am purposing in my heart to seek God with everything I am, that He may lead me and teach me to be a man after His own heart.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation. Psalm 25:5

Let us go up to the mountain of the Lord that He may teach us His ways and we shall walk in His paths. Isaiah 2:3, Micah 4:2