Calm Parenting University Workshop Session 4 Recap

Since our Calm Parenting Workshop on June 24, I have been on a journey to become the father, the parent that God created me to be so that I could raise my children to become everything God created them to be. I have laughed and cried, had great moments and monumental letdowns, but through it all I have grown. I have grown as a parent. I have grown as a husband. I have grown as a man. And our home, our family is better for it.

I have been praying that you would experience the same growth that I have been living. And I continue to pray that God guides you on your journey to become the parent God has created you to be so that you can raise the twenty-three year old, healthy, well-adjusted adults God has created your children to be.

CPU Workshop Session 4 Recap

Key Idea:

Instead of trying to externally motivate your children, it’s critical to spark internal motivation so they can take responsibility for their own lives.

10 Strategies to Motivate Your Kids:

  1. Raise your kids according to THEIR way, not yours.
  2. Speak to your kids like adults. It makes them feel safe.
  3. Replace lectures with intense praise. Create a vision of who your child can be.
  4. Motivate kids by respecting their space and removing yourself.
  5. Practice servant leadership.
  6. Rebuild your relationship.
  7. Address the deeper issues.
  8. Meet needs instead of changing behavior.
  9. Spark internal motivation.
  10. Reach into your child’s heart.

Key Scriptures:

  1. Proverbs 22:6
  2. Luke 15:4-6
  3. Matthew 20:26-28
  4. Matthew 21:28-32

Action Steps:

  1. Praise your children with intensity.
  2. Consider apologizing for lecturing, yelling, or being controlling.
  3. Make a list of your child’s natural gifts, talents and passions.

May God bless you richly through your ongoing journey to become more of what God created you to be so your kids can become more of what He created them to be.

Resolve

A new year is upon us. Again. And again, many of us may be thinking about change. Perhaps breaking a bad habit or forging a good one. You may be looking to discover the healthier “me,” becoming the best version of yourself that God made you to become. Often our goals are about spending more time with family or less time at work. Others commit to kicking a tobacco habit or to stop using credit cards. Some even write down goals about spending more time in the Word of God. I am confident that you can achieve the good and godly goals that the Spirit lays on your heart and that you set yourself to.

I know that I would like to eat a healthier diet, exercise more regularly, lose weight, and once again fit in my “someday” jeans. Do you have a pair? Or maybe there is something else that you hang to, hoping that someday you may achieve some nebulous goal, but never really making any long term commitments… The truth is that many of us, most in fact, make “resolutions” every new year. We write down goals to eat healthier, to lose weight, to exercise more, to be better husbands or mothers. In reality,  most of us set lofty and admirable goals every January, and the great majority of us fail before Groundhog’s Day.

Why is that? Three reasons initially come to my mind. The first reason we fail to reach our new goals is a matter of priorities. When a goal is so unimportant that we are willing to wait until a turn of the calendar to begin pursuing it, often waiting months, it is not a priority for us. What is a priority is our complacent conquest of comfortable normalcy.

The second reason we fail to reach our goals is a function of habit. New habits take 90 days to become entrenched into our behavior. This has two implications: First is that you may have already inadvertently formed a bad habit of delay and procrastination by waiting 90 days or more to begin. Yes, delaying the pursuit of your goals is as much a habit as the daily pursuit of them. Even making excuses for failure becomes a habit. Second, you really need to stand firm in the pursuit of your goals for 3 months before they become an engrained habit. Cling to your goal through March, with a daily reminder of what you are striving for and why.

The third is one of resolve. In Daniel chapter 1, the great man of God was a mere young man taken captive by the conquering Babylon. Rather than giving in to the pagan and evil practices that his captors were trying to force upon Daniel and all the captives, Daniel resolved or “purposed in his heart” to seek God. As a result, every dilemma of conscience Daniel faced was easily decided by considering his resolve. God also poured favor upon Daniel as a response to Daniel’s resolve toward God. In the New Testament, Paul often writes about this purpose of heart, using phrases like: stand firm in your faith, putting on the whole armor of God; straining toward the prize heavenward in Christ Jesus; and fight to lay hold of the eternal life.

I pray that as you examine your goals for this new year of your life that you would not delay, that you would resolve in your heart to reach your God given goals. Stand firm, strain daily, and fight to overcome our complacent conquest of comfortable normalcy.

As for me, I am seeking a healthier me: physically, emotionally, intellectually, socially, and spiritually. But most importantly, I am purposing in my heart to seek God with everything I am, that He may lead me and teach me to be a man after His own heart.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation. Psalm 25:5

Let us go up to the mountain of the Lord that He may teach us His ways and we shall walk in His paths. Isaiah 2:3, Micah 4:2