Calm Parenting University Workshop Session 2 Recap

My journey as a Christian, husband, and father has been filled with earth-shattering sorrows and life-giving joys, humbling defeats and overwhelming victories, with less and less of myself while I become more and more.

Perhaps you were as surprised as I was that the first things we need to do as parents to change our homes and lives is to take care of ourselves. My earliest years as a parent were filled with my search for methods that would change my children’s behavior, but the truth is that I first needed to change my own behavior.

I pray that you have been able begin applying the first ten strategies and have been working on the three action steps from session 1. I am continuing to pray for you as we continue to grow into the parents God has called us to be so that we can raise the twenty-three year old, healthy, well-adjusted adults God has called our children to be.

CPU Workshop Session 2 Recap

Key Idea:

Most of us have tried escalating consequences, bribing, begging, threatening and yelling to get our kids to behave… but nothing changes. This week, our focus is on building the lifelong character trait of self-control in our children.

Key Principles:

  1. Discipline is something you do FOR your child, not TO your child.
  2. Disciple is NOT punishment, discipline is teaching.
  3. Discipline is love.

10 Strategies to Discipline & Get Your Kids to Listen:

  1. Rewind and replay.
  2. Give kids tools to succeed.
  3. Give kids choices and ownership (if you were there, think pots and pans example).
  4. Take action. Act with integrity.
  5. Practice impulse control.
  6. Lead without fear.
  7. Establish proper boundaries between parents and children.
  8. Do not allow tantrums to work.
  9. Get to the root of the issue. Come alongside.
  10. Call your child’s bluff.

Key Scriptures:

  1. Proverbs 29:17
  2. Hebrews 12:6
  3. Hebrews 12:11
  4. Matthew 5:37
  5. Hebrews 4:16

Action Steps:

  1. Take time to reflect on how you were disciplined as a child.
  2. Practice one new discipline tool this week.
  3. Give your kids tools.

May God bless you richly this week as you move forward to becoming more of what God created you to be so your kids can become more of what God created them to be.

 

Calm Parenting University Workshop Session 1 Recap

I had a great day at the Calm Parenting University Workshop on June 24th. I enjoyed listening to the stories of the many parents who joined us,hearing from their hearts. I also enjoyed hearing from Kirk Martin and learning 40 concrete strategies to stop defiance, disrespect and yelling.

Truth be told, however, it was a TON OF INFORMATION to cram in to six short hours. I have been praying that God would work in and through the lives of every parent touched by the workshop – to help them apply these strategies to more effectively parent our children.

As I continue to pray for each of the CPU Workshop participants over the next several weeks, I am going to provide follow up posts summarizing each of the four sessions and include a list of action steps with each.

I pray that this information serves as a blessing for each of the parents who joined us at our workshop. I am also praying that each person to read this would be blessed by this.

Remember: You are not raising a child. You are raising a twenty-three year old, healthy, well-adjusted adult who makes good decisions.

CPU Workshop Session 1 Recap

Key Idea:

It is not your job to control your child’s behavior. Your job is to control your own behavior… and teach your kids how to control their own emotions, moods, and behavior.

10 Strategies to Stop the Yelling, Lecturing, and Power Struggles:

  1. Control yourself.
  2. Demonstrate self-respect.
  3. Step back so your kids can step up.
  4. Conquer your control issues.
  5. Stop controlling people’s emotions.
  6. Control your own anxiety.
  7. Identify your triggers.
  8. Say no to rushing, over-commitment and toxic influences.
  9. Say yes to self-care.
  10. Do the opposite of what your anxiety is telling you to do.

Key Scriptures:

Proverbs 25:28
Proverbs 16:32
Galatians 6:22-23
Matthew 7:3-5

Actions Steps:

  1. Do one activity this week to demonstrate self-care and self-respect.
  2. Identify one trigger this week and create a plan to counter it.
  3. Practice one new habit this week.

May God bless you richly this week as you move forward to becoming more of what God created you to be so your kids can become more of what God created them to be.

Commission of the Church

I have been wrestling with the topic for this article over several days. I have started writing many times, adding one or two sentences before deleting them to begin again. Do you remember the times when doing so would have meant removing a sheet of paper from the typewriter and inserting a clean sheet?

I almost did it again. I nearly laid my finger on the ←backspace key to start again. Progress. It comes in ways we rarely expect, it is often resisted fervently by some, and it always comes.

My dad tells me a story of his childhood. He was cranking the telephone (yes, he had to do that before using the phone), when a lightning storm rolled in. Lightning struck the telephone line somewhere nearby by, sending a surge toward the house. A ball of lightning rolled out of the phone, across the floor, and up into the stainless steel sink. Talk about a shocking experience.

I am only 21 years younger than my father, but I have never had to crank a phone to be able to use it. I have never seen a ball of lightning roll across the floor. In fact, when I was a teenager, I had my own personal phone in my bedroom. The phone had a clear plastic case that allowed me to view the electronics inside. And while I had to plug the phone into the wall to use it, I never had to turn a crank.

Today, most of us carry a phone in our pocket (or on our waist). The phone does not have a lever to crank and only needs to be plugged in long enough to charge a battery. We can now communicate long distances while on the move. We can even carry on a phone conversation with a friend on the other side of the country while we race down the road at 70 miles per hour.

Many of us even have a smartphone, a powerful computer and phone in one. Remembering the size and cost of computers only 20 years ago, this is truly incredible! The ways in which the telephone has changed over the past 60 years has been amazing! The truly amazing thing is, more than they have changed, phones still work on the same principles.

I speak into small microphone. The microphone captures the vibrations of my voice and uses a magnet to convert those vibrations into electrical signals. A speaker on the other end receives the electrical signals and decodes them into sound waves. The phone still works on the same principle it has worked on since Alexander Graham Bell’s famous first words.

In like manner, the commission of the church has not changed. Jesus great commission to the church is recorded in Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, and Acts 1. In this commission, Jesus commands the church to preach the Gospel (repentance and forgiveness of sins in Christ’s name) to all nations, to baptize those who have repented and believed, and to make disciples. As the principle behind the phone has not changed, the commissions of evangelism and discipleship from Jesus will never change. The Gospel message (repentance and forgiveness of sins in Christ’s name) never changes. Baptism in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit never changes.

The message does not change, the principles do not change, but the “phone” may change.