Calm Parenting University Workshop Session 4 Recap

Since our Calm Parenting Workshop on June 24, I have been on a journey to become the father, the parent that God created me to be so that I could raise my children to become everything God created them to be. I have laughed and cried, had great moments and monumental letdowns, but through it all I have grown. I have grown as a parent. I have grown as a husband. I have grown as a man. And our home, our family is better for it.

I have been praying that you would experience the same growth that I have been living. And I continue to pray that God guides you on your journey to become the parent God has created you to be so that you can raise the twenty-three year old, healthy, well-adjusted adults God has created your children to be.

CPU Workshop Session 4 Recap

Key Idea:

Instead of trying to externally motivate your children, it’s critical to spark internal motivation so they can take responsibility for their own lives.

10 Strategies to Motivate Your Kids:

  1. Raise your kids according to THEIR way, not yours.
  2. Speak to your kids like adults. It makes them feel safe.
  3. Replace lectures with intense praise. Create a vision of who your child can be.
  4. Motivate kids by respecting their space and removing yourself.
  5. Practice servant leadership.
  6. Rebuild your relationship.
  7. Address the deeper issues.
  8. Meet needs instead of changing behavior.
  9. Spark internal motivation.
  10. Reach into your child’s heart.

Key Scriptures:

  1. Proverbs 22:6
  2. Luke 15:4-6
  3. Matthew 20:26-28
  4. Matthew 21:28-32

Action Steps:

  1. Praise your children with intensity.
  2. Consider apologizing for lecturing, yelling, or being controlling.
  3. Make a list of your child’s natural gifts, talents and passions.

May God bless you richly through your ongoing journey to become more of what God created you to be so your kids can become more of what He created them to be.

Calm Parenting University Workshop Session 3 Recap

Are you beginning to notice a new atmosphere in your home? Are you starting to experience a new hope for your home? I continue to pray that God will use these concrete practical strategies to help you on your journey to become the parents God has created us to be so that we can raise the twenty-three year old, healthy, well-adjusted adults God has created our children to be.

CPU Workshop Session 3 Recap

Key Idea:

When was the last time you physically showed your children HOW to handle their anger, frustration and disappointment? Emotional meltdowns and defiance are tremendous opportunities to teach our children the lifelong skill of self-control while building a closer relationship.

10 Strategies to Stop Defiance, Disrespect, and Meltdowns:

  1. Do not provoke. How do we provoke our kids?
  2. Do not react. Ever.
  3. Practice acknowledgement to defuse situations.
  4. Do not misjudge your kids’ motives.
  5. Get to the root of the issue.
  6. Put it back in your child’s court. Give them ownership.
  7. Teach your kids how to disagree respectfully.
  8. Demonstrate self-respect when your kids are outwardly defiant or ignore you.
  9. Match your kids’ intensity with problem solving.
  10. Turn meltdowns into an opportunity.

Key Scriptures:

  1. Proverbs 15:1
  2. Colossians 3:21
  3. Proverbs 15:8

Actions Steps:

  1. Reach out to one other parent this week. Share a listening ear and encouragement.
  2. Practice the power of acknowledgement this week.
  3. Develop a new calming routine as a family.

May God bless you richly this week as you move forward to becoming more of what God created you to be so your kids can become more of what God created them to be.

A Christian Perspective on Mathematics

I recently had the privilege of completing a College Algebra class through Christian Leaders Institute. As I worked my way through the videos, reading assignments and exercises, I was reminded of my first love in school. Throughout my elementary, junior high, and high school years, mathematics was easily my favorite subject.
I am not a role follower, per se, but I do appreciate systems that provide consistent results: they provide a comfortable predictability. I like to know what results my actions, words, or other inputs are going to produce.
As I was growing up, I discovered that people were not predictable. My mother’s response to me were much more dependent upon her mood than my actions, attitudes, or words. I learned often times to avoid her (or shamefully, to lie to her) to avoid a situation that I could not predict.
Likewise, my athletic endeavors were frustrating at best. I was not a coordinated child, and I could never throw a ball the same way twice. I might feel like I was moving the same way each time, but the truth was that I never knew where a ball I threw was going to land.
In school, I struggled with learning grammatically correct English. To, too, or two; there, their, or they’re; and hors d’oeuvres are just some of the examples of English inconsistencies that drove me nuts! In geography, sometimes borders would follow nature delineations. Other times, they would be the arbitrary result of a political negotiation, cultural ideation, or a war time compromise. Spelling included the usual rules of phonics, but there were so many exceptions: “’I’ before ‘E’ except after ‘C’ or in…” The “or” always frustrated me.
Fortunately, mathematics did not seem to have any exceptions. Math was completely predictable. It made sense. It followed a consistent set of rules that yielded consistent results. Math made sense, and as a result, I grew to love math. It was one of the few oases to be found in my tumultuous adolescence.
These rules are helpful. Given an expression such as 10 – 2*3 (ten minus two times three) to solve, consistent rules create order and consistent results. Absent the order of consistency, one could just as easily produce the errant answer of 24 (twenty-four) as the correct answer of 4 (four). The brilliant solution to yield consistency is known as the order of operation.
The order of operation set the consistent standard by which all mathematic expressions should be worked. This order is often remembered as “PEMDAS.” PEMDAS is an abbreviation that reminds mathematicians of the consistent order of operations: Parenthesis, Exponents, Multiplication / Division, Addition / Subtraction. Applying the order of operations to all mathematic expressions allows a universal, orderly manner to achieve consistent results. Performed correctly, the expression 10 – 2*3 will always be done to yield the correct result of 4. Multiplication is done before subtraction, so 2*3 is 6. Subtraction then comes and 10 minus 6 is 4. Every time. Orderly.
God, the Creator and sustainer of life is likewise a God of order. He created a universe with consistent results. Gravity is consistent and reliable. If I jump up, I will land. The sun rises and sets, the moon waxes and wanes, the stars twinkle. Consistent. Reliable. Predictable. Orderly.
1 Corinthians 14:33 tells us that God is not a God of disorder but of peace. While I hesitate to remove this verse from its context, the truth presented does reflect the character of God. God created a vast, complicated, unfathomable universe – but a universe that is predictable and orderly because He is predictable and orderly. God is a God of order. Perhaps that is why mathematics has always been so appealing to me: because I see in the chaos of life a hint of God’s character revealed through the science of mathematics.
As I completed this most recent course of mathematics, I was again reminded of the beauty to be found in math. Algebra certainly adds more coefficients, variables, and rules; however it does so in a consistent order that reminds me of the character of God.

Commission of the Church

I have been wrestling with the topic for this article over several days. I have started writing many times, adding one or two sentences before deleting them to begin again. Do you remember the times when doing so would have meant removing a sheet of paper from the typewriter and inserting a clean sheet?

I almost did it again. I nearly laid my finger on the ←backspace key to start again. Progress. It comes in ways we rarely expect, it is often resisted fervently by some, and it always comes.

My dad tells me a story of his childhood. He was cranking the telephone (yes, he had to do that before using the phone), when a lightning storm rolled in. Lightning struck the telephone line somewhere nearby by, sending a surge toward the house. A ball of lightning rolled out of the phone, across the floor, and up into the stainless steel sink. Talk about a shocking experience.

I am only 21 years younger than my father, but I have never had to crank a phone to be able to use it. I have never seen a ball of lightning roll across the floor. In fact, when I was a teenager, I had my own personal phone in my bedroom. The phone had a clear plastic case that allowed me to view the electronics inside. And while I had to plug the phone into the wall to use it, I never had to turn a crank.

Today, most of us carry a phone in our pocket (or on our waist). The phone does not have a lever to crank and only needs to be plugged in long enough to charge a battery. We can now communicate long distances while on the move. We can even carry on a phone conversation with a friend on the other side of the country while we race down the road at 70 miles per hour.

Many of us even have a smartphone, a powerful computer and phone in one. Remembering the size and cost of computers only 20 years ago, this is truly incredible! The ways in which the telephone has changed over the past 60 years has been amazing! The truly amazing thing is, more than they have changed, phones still work on the same principles.

I speak into small microphone. The microphone captures the vibrations of my voice and uses a magnet to convert those vibrations into electrical signals. A speaker on the other end receives the electrical signals and decodes them into sound waves. The phone still works on the same principle it has worked on since Alexander Graham Bell’s famous first words.

In like manner, the commission of the church has not changed. Jesus great commission to the church is recorded in Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, and Acts 1. In this commission, Jesus commands the church to preach the Gospel (repentance and forgiveness of sins in Christ’s name) to all nations, to baptize those who have repented and believed, and to make disciples. As the principle behind the phone has not changed, the commissions of evangelism and discipleship from Jesus will never change. The Gospel message (repentance and forgiveness of sins in Christ’s name) never changes. Baptism in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit never changes.

The message does not change, the principles do not change, but the “phone” may change.