Calm Parenting University Workshop Session 3 Recap

Are you beginning to notice a new atmosphere in your home? Are you starting to experience a new hope for your home? I continue to pray that God will use these concrete practical strategies to help you on your journey to become the parents God has created us to be so that we can raise the twenty-three year old, healthy, well-adjusted adults God has created our children to be.

CPU Workshop Session 3 Recap

Key Idea:

When was the last time you physically showed your children HOW to handle their anger, frustration and disappointment? Emotional meltdowns and defiance are tremendous opportunities to teach our children the lifelong skill of self-control while building a closer relationship.

10 Strategies to Stop Defiance, Disrespect, and Meltdowns:

  1. Do not provoke. How do we provoke our kids?
  2. Do not react. Ever.
  3. Practice acknowledgement to defuse situations.
  4. Do not misjudge your kids’ motives.
  5. Get to the root of the issue.
  6. Put it back in your child’s court. Give them ownership.
  7. Teach your kids how to disagree respectfully.
  8. Demonstrate self-respect when your kids are outwardly defiant or ignore you.
  9. Match your kids’ intensity with problem solving.
  10. Turn meltdowns into an opportunity.

Key Scriptures:

  1. Proverbs 15:1
  2. Colossians 3:21
  3. Proverbs 15:8

Actions Steps:

  1. Reach out to one other parent this week. Share a listening ear and encouragement.
  2. Practice the power of acknowledgement this week.
  3. Develop a new calming routine as a family.

May God bless you richly this week as you move forward to becoming more of what God created you to be so your kids can become more of what God created them to be.

Calm Parenting University Workshop Session 1 Recap

I had a great day at the Calm Parenting University Workshop on June 24th. I enjoyed listening to the stories of the many parents who joined us,hearing from their hearts. I also enjoyed hearing from Kirk Martin and learning 40 concrete strategies to stop defiance, disrespect and yelling.

Truth be told, however, it was a TON OF INFORMATION to cram in to six short hours. I have been praying that God would work in and through the lives of every parent touched by the workshop – to help them apply these strategies to more effectively parent our children.

As I continue to pray for each of the CPU Workshop participants over the next several weeks, I am going to provide follow up posts summarizing each of the four sessions and include a list of action steps with each.

I pray that this information serves as a blessing for each of the parents who joined us at our workshop. I am also praying that each person to read this would be blessed by this.

Remember: You are not raising a child. You are raising a twenty-three year old, healthy, well-adjusted adult who makes good decisions.

CPU Workshop Session 1 Recap

Key Idea:

It is not your job to control your child’s behavior. Your job is to control your own behavior… and teach your kids how to control their own emotions, moods, and behavior.

10 Strategies to Stop the Yelling, Lecturing, and Power Struggles:

  1. Control yourself.
  2. Demonstrate self-respect.
  3. Step back so your kids can step up.
  4. Conquer your control issues.
  5. Stop controlling people’s emotions.
  6. Control your own anxiety.
  7. Identify your triggers.
  8. Say no to rushing, over-commitment and toxic influences.
  9. Say yes to self-care.
  10. Do the opposite of what your anxiety is telling you to do.

Key Scriptures:

Proverbs 25:28
Proverbs 16:32
Galatians 6:22-23
Matthew 7:3-5

Actions Steps:

  1. Do one activity this week to demonstrate self-care and self-respect.
  2. Identify one trigger this week and create a plan to counter it.
  3. Practice one new habit this week.

May God bless you richly this week as you move forward to becoming more of what God created you to be so your kids can become more of what God created them to be.

Submit to Your Spouse

February is upon us, and with it comes one of the most intimidating and daunting days of the year. Awkward teenage boys fear this day while young women everywhere anticipate its arrival with great excitement. Wives all across our nation are heartbroken by a plague of men who NEVER understand the meaning and importance of this day.

Valentine’s Day, February 14th every year, is coming and it will bring a surge in the sales of chocolate, roses, and Kleenex. A friend of mine suggested one time that Valentine’s Day was created by a couples’ counselor who needed extra work.

In reality, Valentine’s Day is a remarkable time of year for us to celebrate the most important relationship God has given us (with any person). Whether married, engaged, courting, or “just friends,” this is a day in which we can intentionally pour honor, love, respect, and appreciation upon that one special person in your life.

When a Christian couple is dating, courting, or engaged – the primary purpose of that relationship should be the preparation for marriage. When a couple is married, the marriage relationship should be the most important interpersonal relationship. Period. Your spouse is a gift from God (Proverbs 19:14), fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), for you to love, honor, cherish, adore, and submit to (Ephesians 5:21-33).

Yes, husband, your wife is to submit to you, but you are to submit to your wife as well. Husband, you should honor your wife, sacrifice yourself for her, love her, cherish and nourish her, and give yourself up for her. What does this mean in your relationship? I don’t know, but your wife does. Ask her.

Wives, yes I know that your husband can sometimes be an insensitive jerk. Often, he doesn’t even seem to respect your time or ideas. How can you submit to someone you are having a hard time respecting? How can you respect a man who doesn’t seem to respect you? By choosing to serve him in love. By choosing to appreciate what he does for you, rather than resent what he doesn’t do for you.

Marriage is a difficult relationship for us, sinners, to get right. Thank God for His Son, gifted to us so that through His life, death, burial, and resurrection we might become the righteousness of God and learn to live this life well. Thank God that at the cross, He gives us hope for marriage.

Men often ask how it is that they can love a wife who does not respect them. Women often ask how they can respect a husband who does not love them. The answer for both is the same: Lead in love, choosing to submit yourself to your spouse out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21) because He loves you. And maybe Valentine’s Day this year can give you an excuse to practice.

Happy Valentine’s Day!