Calm Parenting University Workshop Session 1 Recap

I had a great day at the Calm Parenting University Workshop on June 24th. I enjoyed listening to the stories of the many parents who joined us,hearing from their hearts. I also enjoyed hearing from Kirk Martin and learning 40 concrete strategies to stop defiance, disrespect and yelling.

Truth be told, however, it was a TON OF INFORMATION to cram in to six short hours. I have been praying that God would work in and through the lives of every parent touched by the workshop – to help them apply these strategies to more effectively parent our children.

As I continue to pray for each of the CPU Workshop participants over the next several weeks, I am going to provide follow up posts summarizing each of the four sessions and include a list of action steps with each.

I pray that this information serves as a blessing for each of the parents who joined us at our workshop. I am also praying that each person to read this would be blessed by this.

Remember: You are not raising a child. You are raising a twenty-three year old, healthy, well-adjusted adult who makes good decisions.

CPU Workshop Session 1 Recap

Key Idea:

It is not your job to control your child’s behavior. Your job is to control your own behavior… and teach your kids how to control their own emotions, moods, and behavior.

10 Strategies to Stop the Yelling, Lecturing, and Power Struggles:

  1. Control yourself.
  2. Demonstrate self-respect.
  3. Step back so your kids can step up.
  4. Conquer your control issues.
  5. Stop controlling people’s emotions.
  6. Control your own anxiety.
  7. Identify your triggers.
  8. Say no to rushing, over-commitment and toxic influences.
  9. Say yes to self-care.
  10. Do the opposite of what your anxiety is telling you to do.

Key Scriptures:

Proverbs 25:28
Proverbs 16:32
Galatians 6:22-23
Matthew 7:3-5

Actions Steps:

  1. Do one activity this week to demonstrate self-care and self-respect.
  2. Identify one trigger this week and create a plan to counter it.
  3. Practice one new habit this week.

May God bless you richly this week as you move forward to becoming more of what God created you to be so your kids can become more of what God created them to be.

Resolve

A new year is upon us. Again. And again, many of us may be thinking about change. Perhaps breaking a bad habit or forging a good one. You may be looking to discover the healthier “me,” becoming the best version of yourself that God made you to become. Often our goals are about spending more time with family or less time at work. Others commit to kicking a tobacco habit or to stop using credit cards. Some even write down goals about spending more time in the Word of God. I am confident that you can achieve the good and godly goals that the Spirit lays on your heart and that you set yourself to.

I know that I would like to eat a healthier diet, exercise more regularly, lose weight, and once again fit in my “someday” jeans. Do you have a pair? Or maybe there is something else that you hang to, hoping that someday you may achieve some nebulous goal, but never really making any long term commitments… The truth is that many of us, most in fact, make “resolutions” every new year. We write down goals to eat healthier, to lose weight, to exercise more, to be better husbands or mothers. In reality,  most of us set lofty and admirable goals every January, and the great majority of us fail before Groundhog’s Day.

Why is that? Three reasons initially come to my mind. The first reason we fail to reach our new goals is a matter of priorities. When a goal is so unimportant that we are willing to wait until a turn of the calendar to begin pursuing it, often waiting months, it is not a priority for us. What is a priority is our complacent conquest of comfortable normalcy.

The second reason we fail to reach our goals is a function of habit. New habits take 90 days to become entrenched into our behavior. This has two implications: First is that you may have already inadvertently formed a bad habit of delay and procrastination by waiting 90 days or more to begin. Yes, delaying the pursuit of your goals is as much a habit as the daily pursuit of them. Even making excuses for failure becomes a habit. Second, you really need to stand firm in the pursuit of your goals for 3 months before they become an engrained habit. Cling to your goal through March, with a daily reminder of what you are striving for and why.

The third is one of resolve. In Daniel chapter 1, the great man of God was a mere young man taken captive by the conquering Babylon. Rather than giving in to the pagan and evil practices that his captors were trying to force upon Daniel and all the captives, Daniel resolved or “purposed in his heart” to seek God. As a result, every dilemma of conscience Daniel faced was easily decided by considering his resolve. God also poured favor upon Daniel as a response to Daniel’s resolve toward God. In the New Testament, Paul often writes about this purpose of heart, using phrases like: stand firm in your faith, putting on the whole armor of God; straining toward the prize heavenward in Christ Jesus; and fight to lay hold of the eternal life.

I pray that as you examine your goals for this new year of your life that you would not delay, that you would resolve in your heart to reach your God given goals. Stand firm, strain daily, and fight to overcome our complacent conquest of comfortable normalcy.

As for me, I am seeking a healthier me: physically, emotionally, intellectually, socially, and spiritually. But most importantly, I am purposing in my heart to seek God with everything I am, that He may lead me and teach me to be a man after His own heart.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation. Psalm 25:5

Let us go up to the mountain of the Lord that He may teach us His ways and we shall walk in His paths. Isaiah 2:3, Micah 4:2